Hobbes: i will start my blog when i'm able to commmit
to putting my thoughts on paper
Hobbes: and not leaving them in my head
atheistbishopb: thats the most difficult part
atheistbishopb: one thng I realised that the head is
very volatile and nothing really sticks for a long enuf
time
Hobbes: but maybe that' s how it's meant to be
atheistbishopb: good point
Hobbes: :-)
atheistbishopb: but there are such wonderful things
that the brain can conjure up and its sometimes a
shock when it meets the reality
Hobbes: yeah..but my thoughts are seriously
personal...and i'd rather only a few people no 'bt it
Hobbes: know*
atheistbishopb: makes a lot of sense
Hobbes: maybe...but i have tried it...
Hobbes: and i can never read them later without
cringing
Hobbes: cause the person who wrote them was a diff
person
atheistbishopb: dont u laugh at them later?
Hobbes: and it's like i'm reading 'bt someone else
atheistbishopb: lemme tell u a story
Hobbes: tell me
atheistbishopb: I had a gigantic crush on a girl
atheistbishopb: but for some reason i started
writing about the whole thing
atheistbishopb: and I could see the metamorphosis
of thoughts about my own identity
atheistbishopb: my self worth
atheistbishopb: and how I saw her
Hobbes: yeah...that i can understand...
atheistbishopb: and later when i read its some times
strange the thoughts I had
Hobbes: but me just one of those people who 'd
rather not pinpoint it
atheistbishopb: but now I can understand that if I
couldnot have thought all those things I would be
very shallow as a person today
Hobbes: the only place my memories exist in my head
Hobbes: and if they are forgotten they are
Hobbes: the present just is stronger than the past
Hobbes: and to dwell on it...me no can do
Hobbes: cause the past has it's place
atheistbishopb: always but ur present is always a
result of ur past
Hobbes: it's not like it doesn't exist...
Hobbes: i just haven't documented it
atheistbishopb: but comprehension of past is any
day better for ur future and understanding ur actions
in the present
Hobbes: it's not like i haven't understood my past..
atheistbishopb: I never liked a diary
Hobbes: i have it all sorted out in my mind
atheistbishopb: but when those significant or events
when thr direction of ur life changes its better to have
it ....
atheistbishopb: i will not use the techie word
"documented" but would just say express the state of
mind
Hobbes: :-)....me spoken like a true techie writer
atheistbishopb: u might remember the result of an
event but how u came to such a decision, is always a
revelation as an after thought

Atheistbishop: So do u mind if I "document" this conversation?

atheistbishopb: Do u think that plans and logic
work every time
double decker: no they dont
atheistbishopb: so atleast in this case a part of
me says that I am being foolish by doing it
double decker: if everything had logic behind it.. this
world would be more understanding... and a
different place to live in
double decker: by doing what?
atheistbishopb: by planning to get out of it
atheistbishopb: actually step by step actions
double decker: If I were you... I'd just let it be...
double decker: you've got to go thru a lot of phases..
double decker: you've got to experience life...
double decker: and feeling this way is an experience
in itself...
double decker: let it be.
double decker: feel it..
atheistbishopb: variety is the spice of life
double decker: just sit down... close your eyes....
make yourself feel the pain... the undermining of
your abilities... make yourself feel all the negative
in every cell in your body...
atheistbishopb: then
double decker: and then just let go.. slowly.. first start
with the tip of your fingers...
atheistbishopb: I will try
double decker: work your way up to your head... and
then work down... let go of it from your heart..
then your stomach... then your kidneys... then
your legs... until you reach the tip of your toes
atheistbishopb: I am listening
atheistbishopb: i feel as though i am
concentrating on unimportant things in life
double decker: and then you should feel different... I
wont say better.. cuz I cant bet on that... but it'll
help you get up and do something constructive...
it'll help you deal with life at that time
atheistbishopb: i will do it and tell u what
happened
double decker: hmm
double decker: I'll wait
double decker: well I wont wait...
atheistbishopb: ?
double decker: just ignore
double decker: anyways
atheistbishopb: do u ever get a feeling that you
are beiong very egoistic and nobody else does
double decker: and nobody else does what?
double decker: nobody else thinks that you're
egoistic?
atheistbishopb: yep
double decker: well.. some times... and I try to make
the most out of it
atheistbishopb: I am getting to very fundamental
questions
double decker: tell me
atheistbishopb: who am i
atheistbishopb: am i who I think i am
double decker: whoever you think you might be
atheistbishopb: or am i what i really am
double decker: you wont know that till you become
what you think you are
double decker: it's all very relative
atheistbishopb: what if I am wrong and I am just
conforming
double decker: every cell in our body is changing
every picosecond....
double decker: so we're actually not who we think
we are... cuz we're constantly changing.. physical
changes definitely brings about changes on every
level
atheistbishopb: so there is nothing called I am
atheistbishopb: why isnt there a construction in
english like
atheistbishopb: I am having , I am eating
double decker: actually its not just "I'...
atheistbishopb: for the verb be
atheistbishopb: why isnt there a I am being?
atheistbishopb: see I am all muddled up
double decker: now that's something that I cannot
help you with... cuz english is man made...
atheistbishopb: so women would have done a
better job?
double decker: and anything man made is prone to
have errors
atheistbishopb: sexist
atheistbishopb: feminist
double decker: well thank you
double decker: maybe I am
atheistbishopb: good
atheistbishopb: I just feel very inadequate
double decker: its' a feeling
double decker: it'll pass
atheistbishopb: without my doing anything?
atheistbishopb: then it will come back again
double decker: its all a cycle
double decker: a vicious cycle
double decker: that's what life's about...
atheistbishopb: i dont like cycles I will straight
lines
double decker: you dont get respite
atheistbishopb: u dont get respite you snatch it
double decker: yes you do
atheistbishopb: and i am going to
double decker: but you cant snatch something and be
happy forever
double decker: whatever works for you
atheistbishopb: see u may not see it but my last
statement reeks of ego
double decker: well I see the ego
double decker: and maybe it's not ego
atheistbishopb: after i told u or before
double decker: cuz if it was ego
double decker: you'd not ever notice it
atheistbishopb: see thats ego again I wanted to
say See it was after i told you
double decker: egotistical people are full of
themselves... and dont want to see that they're full
of ego
atheistbishopb: i am a mutant
double decker: is that so?
double decker: interesting
double decker: what's your speciality?
atheistbishopb: a mutant egoist who knows what
he is
double decker: err... that
double decker: err... that's good
double decker: cuz I dont know what I am
atheistbishopb: but the mutant doesn’t want to be
a egoist for his own sake. the mutant has started
hating the word "I"
double decker: the mutant's approaching the situation
with a different pov
double decker: maybe if the mutant changes the pov
and adopts a different approach... things might
work the way the mutant wants
atheistbishopb: see the mutant hates things
happening the way he wants
double decker: then the mutant's got to just leave
everything and go on a well-deserved vacation
atheistbishopb: mutant likes uncertainty and is
missing the sense of risk and resultant triumph in
life
double decker: the mutant's too impatient
atheistbishopb: yeah
atheistbishopb: forget all that
double decker: well if you say so
atheistbishopb: see not if i say so things can
happen if you say so too
double decker: I dont want to say anything
double decker: I want to be quiet...
double decker: I want to feel the silence in my body
double decker: anyways
double decker: that's something I'll get to eventually
atheistbishopb: cool
double decker: so what else is the mutant upto..
besides thinking
double decker: I did not know who I was before I
was born... and I will not know who I am until
after I die.
atheistbishopb: 1 question
double decker: yeah
atheistbishopb: if today u get to know that the
aftre life is alomost the same as this world, how
would you react?
double decker: can I escape my destiny?
double decker: can I escape not going to an after life?
double decker: maybe not;
atheistbishopb: where wil escape from there
double decker: so I'm just going to go thru each day
double decker: trapped in the bubble warmth.
insulated from extremes of weather. the
comfort of edges makes me restless. dusk and
dawn both. wrapped in the futility of progress.
atheistbishopb: its like a zoo safe and sound but
noisy inside
atheistbishopb: yourself

One of my childhood questions which still remains unanswered. I am sure not for the lack of scientific thought but mostly my disinterest in finding the answer.
How does a mosquito stay at the place in a lift when the lift is moving?
I am on top of a train and I jump why doesnt the train pass under me for that split second? Does the train have its own gravitational pull?

Another idea: If u happen to make lots of money using this idea. Just email me as a courtesy..... and I will sue the hell out of you!
Look at the following situations:
A boy is running full steam and he throws a ball straight up will he catch it or will it fall behind him? It will fall behind him.

Now a question:
Its common knowledge that Planes rotate along with earth. and satellites rotate above earth. Meaning, a guy in a plane cannot see the earth rotate under him but a guy in a satellite can see the earth rotate under him.

So if we can launch a plane to a hieght where it can let the earth pass under it and it can drop right on its destination without moving an inch horizontally.

Another question:
What is that point in space where below that point u rotate with earth and above that point u can see the earth rotate under you?

Time: For an arty guy a movie by an arty director is 2 hours but for a action hero those two hours stretch to 20 years. Why is time same for everybody? Why should time fly when I am sitting on a beach looking at cool babes? Why should time come when u are a boring meeting?

There should be two watches: an astronomical time which works fine just the way it is. but another a psychologucal time where ur "so -called" 24 hours should be divided into what ever divisions u want?

If I am lazing on the couch the hours should be double as long. When I have a feverish day the hours should be half as long? Wont it be cool.

Why do people who were really good friends, just dont continue?
Is that they just move on?
Do we retain the intimacy that we had? yes. about things which dont really matter.
These friends when they bump into each other become: what are u doing these days kinda friends. Then they promise to get back in touch... then thye bump into each other then they promise to get back in touch.... The story repeats a few iterations before they move on, where serendiptity doesnt even pity them anymore.
Do we become more individualistic as we age?
It really pains me that friends who were once dear to me, have been alienated. I am not really ascribing blame coz I am really dotn understand the reasons.
Is it that there are so many things to do that it eats out of the time that we would have spent with our friends?

Is this an effort to just assuage my self into saying that u have done something about it- u wrote a blog? I donno
But life doesnt afford us so many relationships that we can waste due to lack of a minimum effort.

u can never repeat ur emotions.

Overheard over the horizon: If the starship eneterprise says that " Going where no man has gone before"
Then why do they end up bumping into somebody or the other all the time?

God. What crap? Show him to me?
Do u mean to say that 95% of the whole human race lives under a mass hysteria?

may be

Half a million people still think that Elvis is still alive

More than 20% of the world population are convinced that There is life out there.

worldywise: so mean to tell me that u dint propose to ur girl friend?
Non conformist: why do i need to propose
worldwise: but arent u guys moving a notch up the relationship ladder?
Non conformist: Did I propose friendship to u, when we moved from being aquaintances to friends. That "notch up the ladder" also demands some attitudinal change?
Worldy wise: But guys have always proposed to their girlfriends.
Worldy wise: Isnt it very romantic to see guys going down on their knees with flowers in their hands...
Non conformist: Ok lets go back to the basics, do we agree that the boy and the girl are in love with each other?
Worldly wise: yes.. so?
Non conformist: Do u agree that people in that stage of a relationship understand each other well? Do they atleast understand each others intentions.
Non conformist: If both of them are in unison on their intentions then why propose
Non conformist: If during the course of the relationship, they developped a sense of belonging, which they expect to carry on the whole of their life then why should the guy propose.
Worldyiwse: These are the words of people who are just afraid of expressing their feelings for various apprehensions. They might be in perfect unison. but if the rules of brute logic cannot be applied to such intensely emotional situations. If this is so illogical, then how logical is love? Can anybody explain to me in terms of physics or mathematics, why two people feel for each other so much that they defy the whole world and enjoy each others company to the maximum.
Non conformist: If logic is not so all encompassing then what is this inquisitiveness of ur to find a logical reasons for my actions?
Curiosity, inquisitiveness, learning, knowledge acquistion. education, questioning, what are all these? these are just ways in which humans try to reduce the lack of understanding of events around them.
Man is essentially a control freak,

I had a small talk with a classmate of mine today. Strange that life moves on so fast and drags, ur thoughts ur actions and ur priorities with it. There were guys from MBA with whom i virtually spent the 2 years. Out of sight out of mind? I hope not.

One of my targets in life is to stop working when i am 45 and just do what my heart says. I might just get into genetics again. But what I really wanted to do was to carry on research on a few hypotheses that I have come to believe.

one of them:
We all know that the place u come from has a great impact on the general bone structure of ur face.
My hypothesis is that the language u speak and the stress on the consonants also has a role in shaping how u look.

If I am a north Indian and staying in south India for a really long time and primarily speaking a dravidian language then I might end up looking like a south Indian. And I do look like a pucca andhra guy. And my cousin, he has lived in hyderabad since his birth and talks as good telugu as me but predominantly talks in Hindi. That bloke looks like Northie?

I donno if its true but Balusian theorem.

So what if he says:
I will make a statement and u have to respond with something completely unrelated, no link shoud be made
aditi says:
my wallpaper looks cute
So what if he says:
Are we leveraging our capabilities to provide wider range of services?
aditi says:
why is india spending 95 billion dollars on weapons over the next 15 years
So what if he says:
I am a very intelligent guy and people always shy away from discussing this topic so they say something unrelated
aditi says:
modestyis an underrated virtue
LOST
So what if he says:
the world is a shabby place with humans littered all over
aditi says:
calvin makes so much of sense
So what if he says:
jane austin died yesterday of asthma when she trying to blow a balloon
aditi says:
ally mcbeal sucks most of the time
So what if he says:
when I was a litttle boy I thought that pepsi was a cool drink and not a cold drink
aditi says:
godrej is never ending
So what if he says:
time is at a premium when stocks trade at par
aditi says:
water is so healthy
aditi says:
there is only so much of work that i can take
So what if he says:
shakespeare was a spelling mistake
aditi says:
m,e goona drown in caffeine one of these days
So what if he says:
the weird thing about life is there is a big IF in the middle of it
aditi says:
why r sobby love songs so popular?
So what if he says:
Bill Clinton is percieved around the world as an expert in conflict resolution not becoz he tried to broker peace in middle east but some how made truce with his wife

Does it take commiment to say what u want to say to urself?

I need a five minute elevated pitch on each segment of the market. Is'nt that a very concise way instead of asking me to explore industry segments from products and demos? The knowledge people gain from working with others and learning how to communicate to provide the right kind of q.

Why the heck I am thinking?
Could be a hundred reasons?
What should be the last one?
To post them on ur blog?
Why did that thought cross my mind?

Well thats something that I can think about!!
Will get back with the results later

Why the heck I am thinking?
Could be a hundred reasons?
What should be the last one?
To post them on ur blog?
Why did that thought cross my mind?

Well thats something that I can think about!!
Will get back with the results later

ur space is ur space I shouldnt be an astronomer and peek into it? But if u are going to behave like a comet and keep recurring afyter long intervals, does that leave me with any option?

I am in flux right now
I am in flux between a student and a professional
its really tough to align ur goals and ambitions to that of an inanimate entity called
an organisation
And continuing with the so called "childs sense of ethics"
not a learned sense where u can argue urself out of doing the right thing
I donno how to reconcile the two things
dont want to look back after ten years and justify my actions

I think deep inside I am still not
at peace with myself
tscquasar: i'm like that too!!!!!
atheistbishopb: but its not teh right motivation
tscquasar: well i cant say that
tscquasar: i mean i used to suffer from
inferiority.. but now i'm no longer motivated by
that
tscquasar: i seek my motivation in power
atheistbishopb: why do u need power?
tscquasar: cuz i realized i've always wanted
power.. i've always wanted to be at an enviable
position
atheistbishopb: why is it so important to be at
an enviable position
tscquasar: its not important.. it just gives me a
kick
atheistbishopb: u never know at least for me it
seems as though it stems from that complex
tscquasar: um
tscquasar: not really
tscquasar: actually to be honest.. i never did
suffer from the inferiority complex.. (i did.. but
only for a few months)..
atheistbishopb: why do u think a third persons
perspective of what u are is the biggest driver?
tscquasar: i've always thought that i was better
than the others.. but i think i was quietly
confident..
tscquasar: isnt it always like that?
tscquasar: other people motivate you to be a
better person
tscquasar: that's what our race is all about
tscquasar: the human rave
tscquasar: race
atheistbishopb: when i was suffering from it I
never realised it myself but when I got out of it
the remnants it left behind. Now when I see that I
am a lot better than most of teh people meet, I
am noisily assert my superiority
tscquasar: well then that's your style :-)
atheistbishopb: yes I understand that but from
whos POV do u want to look good from ur POV
meaning are u internally driven or do u push
urself..
atheistbishopb: based on what others think
about ur position
tscquasar: i'm internally driven
tscquasar: i look at others and derive my
inspiration/motivaton blah blah
atheistbishopb: or do u derive motivation from
how others look at you?
atheistbishopb: or how u want others to look at
u?
atheistbishopb: hope I am making sense?
tscquasar: how i want others look at me.. and
you're makign perfect sense
atheistbishopb: then how is that internally
driven?
tscquasar: well that's cuz i want.. I is the key
factor
tscquasar: that's me
tscquasar: how I feel
tscquasar: it's all about I ME MYSELf
tscquasar: you understand?
atheistbishopb: but how u feel is driven by how
others see U?
tscquasar: no. how I want others to see me.
tscquasar: there's a difference.. albeit a slight
one
atheistbishopb: ok I got that
atheistbishopb: Do we have blocks in accepting
what the other is saying?
tscquasar: yes we do
tscquasar: we try and hear what we want to
atheistbishopb: and cull out what doesnt
conform to what our idea of things
tscquasar: exactly
atheistbishopb: and if both the participants have
strong charectors and neither is making
allowances then dialogues like these are never
ending

I am not reading ur blog to get
an insight into ur life or thoughts.
atheistbishopb: I read it becoz... I waited fror a
long time but couldnt get an answer
tscquasar: answer for what?
atheistbishopb: I read it becoz....
atheistbishopb: I tried to blog but
tscquasar: whats your blog
tscquasar: give me the url
atheistbishopb: dint want to motivate myself
artificially to match ur insight
tscquasar: oh come on
atheistbishopb: havent yet tried it online
tscquasar: once you start writing it'll flow
automatically
tscquasar: i used to be such a bum about it
atheistbishopb: so i thought as well
tscquasar: but now i just write for myself.. i write
whatever i think
tscquasar: you should do that
tscquasar: will make you feel better about a lot
of things
atheistbishopb: i know I just have to get over
the thought that I need not match u, I am good
with teh little insights that I have
tscquasar: why do you want to match me?
tscquasar: we're at totally different levels.. they
cannot be compared
atheistbishopb: I know thats why its really
stupid
tscquasar: its not stupid
tscquasar: i used to want to match someone
else's level.. i'd struggle so hard..
atheistbishopb: I have to still undersatdn that
this is for me and I might not contribute to teh
collective wisdom
tscquasar: but then after so much effort and
heartbreak i realized its not me
atheistbishopb: thats very true I will start the
blog and then give u teh url-
I lied I was blogging already