Wednesday, June 13, 2001

I think deep inside I am still not
at peace with myself
tscquasar: i'm like that too!!!!!
atheistbishopb: but its not teh right motivation
tscquasar: well i cant say that
tscquasar: i mean i used to suffer from
inferiority.. but now i'm no longer motivated by
that
tscquasar: i seek my motivation in power
atheistbishopb: why do u need power?
tscquasar: cuz i realized i've always wanted
power.. i've always wanted to be at an enviable
position
atheistbishopb: why is it so important to be at
an enviable position
tscquasar: its not important.. it just gives me a
kick
atheistbishopb: u never know at least for me it
seems as though it stems from that complex
tscquasar: um
tscquasar: not really
tscquasar: actually to be honest.. i never did
suffer from the inferiority complex.. (i did.. but
only for a few months)..
atheistbishopb: why do u think a third persons
perspective of what u are is the biggest driver?
tscquasar: i've always thought that i was better
than the others.. but i think i was quietly
confident..
tscquasar: isnt it always like that?
tscquasar: other people motivate you to be a
better person
tscquasar: that's what our race is all about
tscquasar: the human rave
tscquasar: race
atheistbishopb: when i was suffering from it I
never realised it myself but when I got out of it
the remnants it left behind. Now when I see that I
am a lot better than most of teh people meet, I
am noisily assert my superiority
tscquasar: well then that's your style :-)
atheistbishopb: yes I understand that but from
whos POV do u want to look good from ur POV
meaning are u internally driven or do u push
urself..
atheistbishopb: based on what others think
about ur position
tscquasar: i'm internally driven
tscquasar: i look at others and derive my
inspiration/motivaton blah blah
atheistbishopb: or do u derive motivation from
how others look at you?
atheistbishopb: or how u want others to look at
u?
atheistbishopb: hope I am making sense?
tscquasar: how i want others look at me.. and
you're makign perfect sense
atheistbishopb: then how is that internally
driven?
tscquasar: well that's cuz i want.. I is the key
factor
tscquasar: that's me
tscquasar: how I feel
tscquasar: it's all about I ME MYSELf
tscquasar: you understand?
atheistbishopb: but how u feel is driven by how
others see U?
tscquasar: no. how I want others to see me.
tscquasar: there's a difference.. albeit a slight
one
atheistbishopb: ok I got that
atheistbishopb: Do we have blocks in accepting
what the other is saying?
tscquasar: yes we do
tscquasar: we try and hear what we want to
atheistbishopb: and cull out what doesnt
conform to what our idea of things
tscquasar: exactly
atheistbishopb: and if both the participants have
strong charectors and neither is making
allowances then dialogues like these are never
ending

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