Last Sunday I was shopping in the Sunday Market, its better than any Amazon, the cool thing abt this market is that u shud never go looking for a specific book here just go browse teh whole market and u will find so many books that u missed looking for. Its one amazing place. i hope theres something like this in Mumbai as well.

I found this really cool book " 2000 more insults"
lemme give u a few excerpts

Today on Tightwads:
He is a real carefree guy, he doesnt care as long as its free.

Money means nothing to him, u ask for money you dont get anything.

The Longest trip to mankind is the one that he makes to his pocket.

He is a man of rare gifts, its rare when he gives one

The best definition of an optimist: Ones who try to borrow money from guys like him.

He is waiting for a total eclipse of the Sun so that he can send a night rate telegram

The way he nurses a drink it looks more like an hour glass

No one can find fault with his cleanliness, he has been sponging for years.

When he takes a dollar bill out of the pocket, George Washington blinks at the light.

I am picking up this thing from Foolmaker's blog. One real cool babe this one.

who saw that GARY CONDIT interview last night??

i didn't.
because i pretty much knew how it would go:

//
Connie: Do you know where Chandra Levy is?

Gary: Yes.

Connie: WHOA! *eyes wide open, she looks at cameramen, cops, security and hesitates as she asks*
............are you Chandra Levy's killer?

(yeah right!)

Gary: *with a distant look in his eyes* Yes.

Connie: WHOA! No murder weapon found though..


Gary: Oh yeah. about that.. you'll find it in my pants..
.........i screwed her well

(asshole!)
//

what the hell were those million people expecting to hear from Condit?
that he killed her and burnt her body to ashes.. and then washed those ashes down his throat with some beer?
COME ON WORLD.

watch something more important.. something intelligent.. something worthwhile..

god! people are such suckers for stories of sex, lies and murder.
ha!

Religion is one of the most confusing, confounding and the most potent force in the history of mankind.
Its the same force which kills more poeople after Diseases and Natural catastrophes.
More wars are fought, more people killed, more people persecuted, more people discriminated than by any other "concept" known to man.
What is a religion? It a concept or an idea which unifies a group of people to follow a certain way of life. This way of life might include praying to a God, following a set of activities to guide ones life towards an end. It is this way of life which is supposed to provide a framework for all actions.
When I was in Jammu a few days back, I noticed this lady who was going to Vaishno Devi temple, she wished something would happen and the bloody thing did end up happening so she had to literally (I dont think a word exists in the english dico for this) scale the mountain, which means for 15 kilometers, she lies down on the path makes a line at her head gets up and lies down with her feet at the line and repeats the same for 15000 meters.( and there I was all flustered just using my feet and comfyly walking up). What forces and makes them beleive in this superior force is out of my comprehension.
But actions/beliefs of very smart people around me force me to acknowledge that some force has to exist. Very few smart people are actually atheist and a more posher word "agnostic".
It was a very difficult decision to try to say no to the climb of 15km, coz as far as I can admit to myself I dont really believe in God and to be more politically correct I always say that I am still looking for him.
There was this dilemma in my mind saying if the guy actually exists he would hate that I came this far and dint come to say hi to him!!
And also that I cannot get into a trance shouting Jai mata di tho I tried my level best but its just not in me.
There is too mcuh goin on in my mind to write abt GOD.
But what ever god is whether he exists or not the worst thing is wen u see these hardliners radicals who think everybody who beleives in another way of life is a bugger worth dying.
If that is what God is supposed to be then its better that 95% of worlds population is hallucinating and is living in a state of Mass Hysteria.

Jai Mata di
Milkey bolo
Jai Mata Di
Pyar se bolo
jai mata di
Jor se bolo
Jai mata di
aagey bolo
Jai mata di
peechey bolo
Jai mata di

All this chanthing dint make any difference duriong my 28 kilometer trek.

In Delhi: i donno why but I hate this place. Its people, its weather, its station, its everything.
Coming back what seems to me like my favorite question: What the Bloody hell is India, if u are bored of reading this this is teh right tme to move on or else here it goes again.
Questions:
1. Name all the North Eastern States and their Capitals
2. Name all the districts In Telengana region of AP

Continuing withe discussion on Kashmir, we want Kashmir to be part of us becoz "we" think its a part of us. and we dont seem to bother how much suffering those guys are going thru.
I am not saying that if Kasmir is independent or if goes to Pakistan it will get better, but just that now they are the masters of tehir fate.
North East is a part of India. But how many of us really know anything about it to make sure that it is a part of india, coz now if China wants to take over Sikkim or if sikkim wants to be independent then there will be a huge outcry of "Nationalistic sentiment" We will make a few songs on DD1 on how North East is a part of India.

Question:
Do u think India would be what it is if Britishers hadnt occupied India, Would india as we know today exist?or would all teh princely states proclaimed themselves as a country each? Now what is India?

I am going to Jammu tommorow.
I have been asked to will all my property, handover all my customer accounts and even will my cell phone.
I have been asked to give a check for insurance before I reach Jammu.

A lot of my friends are so happy that they wont see me for a week and I reciprocate very well as usual.
But I am not without my apprehensions its still my life only but in someway I am kinda sure that all that is out there and will never reach me. Living in a protected and relatively peaceful environment where most of my tensions are about my clients getting coffee 10 minutes late when they visit my office.
And whether a peach colored shirtwas a right choice for a very conservative guy like me.
I have never seen the so called fabled "life".
Looking at the life that Kashmiris live all my problems seem trivial and non-existant when your target for today is staying alive.
Would a Kashmiri living on the edge everyday fare better in "civil" society where he has to solve problem like whether to wear a suit for a wedding or a Kurta? I donno.
Is my life more meaningful or his?
To me its a strange feeling to struggle and fight for problems that had no hand of yours in creating them or very little contribution taht you can make to solve them. Most of the problems that I grapple with are problem that I created or those that I can solve either by abstaining or taking them head on.
Neither is possible for these Kashmirirs. I hate to be a helpless situation where I am forced into something that I can do very little to solve.
But I really dont know whether i am looking forward to this visit. A part of me is scared but another part is very expectant.
Its like going into the "reality" of the so-called "Life", where you are more like a savage, struggling to survive not in a market but just to see another day? Dramatising things, so I thot as well, but not anymore.

Mumblog II:
The train back was more interesting. I think there was too much on my mind in the mornining to notice anything. On the way back I had time to look and notice people. Typical to the MBA ilk, I had to put these people into categories:
1. I donno what to dream, the blankest buggers.
2. I am dreaming about where i want to be, buggers like me, thinkin abt how wonderful future will be for them, the starry eyed.
3. I am living in a dream, content buggers with a perpetual smile and a smirk and contempt for the 2nd category
4. Been there done that.
5. Broken dreams, wanna go back to category 2.

There was this couple who was koo-chie kooing standing in the isle, they seemed so joyfully oblivious of the hustle and life rushing past them.
Then there was this really old bugger with his 40 year old extermely bored companion, talking about how to do business and why somebody will give him Rs30 crores to build a 20 floor complex????

The ease with which Mumbaiyaites use "crores" is amazing.
A typical rel estate classified goes like this.
950 BHK (Bed room, Hall, Kitchen), sea facing (which is usually a kilometer away with 20 other buildings in the way), 12 crores negotiable (did u just say 120000000 frigging rupees??????????????) thats the Income per year of 80,000 average indians!!!!!!!!!

The conspicuous opulence in Mumbai is amazing. From anups flat in Malabar Hills, I was dying to see a maruti 800.
Coming back to the old guy, teh companion seemes so uninterested with what the old man was saying that he borrowed a news paper and pushed it between himself and old bugger but the old bugger never stopped.
Suddenly there was this beggar girl who started singing a song again depending on the way people reacted these types emerged:
1. Starers: People who stared at the girl with disgust and pity.
2. Ignorers: people who are making great efforts to ignore the shril
3. The Cud chewers: groups of kiddos whispering at the top of their voice, when they realised that they have lost the position as the cynosure of all eyes.
4. The Wannabbees: With their heads held so high, that I was looking for eyes in their throat, giving the girl scornful looks saying work hard u will get there sometime, look at me!!
5. Ki"shor" e kumars: I can sing so much better. The worst buggers.
6. Commentators: Need I say more!!!

Suddenly a feeling of exhilaration:
For once today a place that I know and can relate to Malabar Hills Station at the grant road.

This blog has taken ages to come excuse me if I cannot recreate the gusto, that it was goin thru.
Mumblog:
Dawn:
The day started very expectantly - mostly about the sub-urban train ride and about the flat taht i would stay for the next thre years.
My CEO had forewarned me that before I get used to mumbai I would have to get my pocket picked twice, i would nearly die near the train trying to get in.

I wanted to take a bus to Grant road from Anups Flat, but just couldnt resist the sight of a Taxi on the sweaty day- Company money only so no problem.
I made a very conscious effort not to look like a wide-eyed tourist, trying to look at the top floor of every high rise, every identifiable landmark, if i ever lose my way. Mumbai's exclusive sights of Anglo indian women with their flowery gowns, for some reason I feel that they all use about 20 varieties of cloth and the whole community uses only these for clothes.
But all my ministrations of trying not to look like a tourist failed when the cab driver asked if I wanted to see India gate.

Got of fthe cab and walked into the station trying to look distinguished( I have no idea why), formal trousers, cell phone, laptop case( no laptop as yet but!).
Went in bought a ticket
Shock: a Second class ticket to Kandivali: Rs.8/-
A first class ticket to kandivali: Rs73 goddam bucks/-
Waiting for the train, as I had nothng to do tried to look for subjects for the blog, couldnt find a pattern among them, before I could arrive at anything there was the train...
I found the going very smooth till Bandra.
I looked at a map of the western railway provided by Roshan Bengali- Sex specialist and problem come to me.
Counted ten stations to Kandivali double checked 10 stops.
The train stopped at Bandra, everybody got down, i mean verybody, as though they got a subliminal clue from the chips implanted in their brains.
I was alone in the train for 2 min, till i grew suspicious and got down and suddenly the train started moving, I jumped back in and teh train was empty as ever. I did notice a few buggers on teh platform looking strangely at me.
and the train stopped again after a few min in teh middle of nowhere.

U have a 1 new message from Balaji:
Rohit reads: contrary to widely accepted views taht mumbai trains are very crowded, I am alone in a whole goddam train to myself.

I was furiously sendign SMSes when i was disturbed by a havaldar( not in a long chaddi any more), he was smiling and asked me " aap ek hi bahadur hain ya aur hain? ( mail me for translation:) I promptly took out my ticket to kandivali and proved him my honesty,
He then said FYI, the train has reached its shed and was going in for a wash. I had to trot back to the nearest station a kilometer away. I had to hide my face from all those guys who saw me smugly reading Ken Follets Code to Zero- BTW a stupid book.