Saturday, September 22, 2001

DBK part-1 ( Dukh Bhari Kahani)
I am in the midst of that very important and tumultuous transition from caring two hoots about everything you had and never really bothering to acknowledge the obvious.
Living in Mumbai, staying alone, eating out alone, laughing alone, sulking alone, trying to enjoy alone and still trying to take in as much of the new sights, sounds, people, culture, taxi drivers, trains, anglo Indian ladies, ok looking but amazingly well dressed girls and stinking rich old farts.
Its that catch 44 situation where you want to miss your home/ people but still want to try and experience the new life.

Life in Mumbai is goddam hectic, I travel at least 50 kms a day by taxi and around 20kms by train. From the time you wake up to the time you come back tired and dead, you are thinking about how to utilise the next 1 hour better than the last one. The only time you feel as tho you are missing something is when you take a book late at night and lie down to read and before you get into the book or just when u are abot to doze off, the whole day just seems to flash in front of you once, and you realise that I have done a good job of it(hopefully) but still rue the fact that there is so much to do other than you principal activity for me work for you study.
I sometimes, pity myself that i am eating at the best places, talking to the doyens of Indian Industry (Not the Doyens in Lingampally!!) but still I am doing this all alone. I am sure that this will change I will meet more people I will hangout with them, but for some reason i have this feeling that i might not make anymore "friends". Most of all its these friends from Hyd and now in Yale that I miss, spending time with arguing about third world and dominant world paradigm!!!

Mumbai is a cauldron where something seems to be happening all the time and you want to be there for a few things at least but the pace of life bloody consumes till its too late.
Some times in the evening when I am traveling back from I suddenly get these pangs of absence where I miss everybody at home, everybody who just by their presence seem to support you. I get depressed and then I get back into the rigmarole called life and work where there is no value for pausing and thinking about what you are missing. You just assuage yourself saying I am working hard now so that I can decide my future and my destiny.


Post a Comment

<< Home