Theres something about raving fans and trampling crowds, crowds sitting in sweltering sun, paparazzi that i couldnt ever relate to.
Being awe enough of a person that you havent seen in person more than a few times, if you are lucky that is. You havent even had a proper conversation with him/her and people covet them, pray for them. people like Sachin tendulkar, Amitabh, Anna kournikova, even smarter people like Scientists (actually couldnt think of any smart scientist) , the first thing which comes to my mind is.. if I need to respect them or if I need to deify them, I need to have at some point of time have a conversation with them and if I think they deserve the respect due to knowledge they possess then I repsct them and deification is next to impossible. I wont even will be in awe in teh presence of very famous people. I keep coming back to deification as I see people killing themselves for Osama Bin Laden or George Bush/ Some idiot sitting and making policies. How the hell can I go gun(g) ho and kill people and be ready to be killed when I am not even sure, why what long term objective they want to serve? or I do my own thought come up with the same conclusion, then I have satisfied my thought and my conscience.

Where are you getting to Balaji? Nowhere. Shud I get to somewhere? nope just blurt out everything you want and let it go.
Why do I keep questioning myself like this?

Coz its bloody good fun, and I can write on the blog that I question myself.
You are one weird bugger, even if I say so myself